She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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