the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
