and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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