I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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