i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
