they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
