Yo dont text me then not text me
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
