STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
