I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
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Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize