she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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