Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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