your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
