can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
