Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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