I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
