there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
