I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
