I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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