is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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