My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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