My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
