You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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