why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
