What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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