hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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