Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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