You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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