On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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