Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
