I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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