Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?