I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
