what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.