At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My balls are so social today.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.