if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.