Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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(925): View more from California

You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.

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(541): View more from Oregon

my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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(269): View more from Michigan

i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show

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(954): View more from Florida

On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?

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