Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?