I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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