Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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