Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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