he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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