I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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