Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
