I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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