Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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