I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
