I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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