she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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