your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
