its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
