He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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