Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
