seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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