yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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