let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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