We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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