Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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