I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
