just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
