He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
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I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
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Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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