not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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