why didn't you poke me back
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
