bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
