Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
