I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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